Run To Not From: Mind Movement Training Program
When you wake up each morning, what theme do your first thoughts of consciousness carry? Do you feel overwhelmed by listing everything you need to accomplish that day? Do you feel restless, no matter how much sleep you get? Or do you feel unmotivated to have another day filled with your routine responsibilities? On the contrary, do you feel calm but stagnant and stuck in doing for everyone else around you? Maybe you don’t even know what you would want to do even if you were given the choice.
I lived most of my life feeling as if I was stuck in a recurring tornado. My mind was the collision of hot and cold air, the push and pull of what I did not want to do but needed to do, and the desire to get more out of my life but feeling like I had no idea how I would ever get to a joyful, and peaceful place in my life. The tornado of want to vs need to in my mind led to the inevitable “disaster” of everything around me, as a tornado does. My anxiety would peak, my breath would shorten, and my thoughts would run wild. I felt I lived for everyone else and was not even appreciated for everything I did. I did not know who I was, and the only time I felt strong, worthy, and the slightest bit of joy was when I was moving my body.
I decided one day after a mental breakdown that occurred 4 months from the last mental breakdown that I not only wanted more for myself, but I realized I needed to take action to do and ultimately be better for myself and my loved ones. Working on my mental health came with what felt like one obstacle after the other when, in retrospect, it was healthy coping mechanisms clashing with the unhealthy, reactive defense mechanisms that I was so used to carrying around. A new tornado emerged.
After 8 years of diligent work on my mental health, I realized I did not know what it felt like to be physically healthy at the same time as being mentally healthy. Working on my physical health was easier for me than facing myself and tackling my mental struggles. However, I found that when I was working simultaneously on my mental and physical health, it was not so easy anymore. The combination of the two made me recognize everything I wanted to run from or rather avoid. My shadow side became brighter, and I could not ignore everything I was used to. I realized that taking action to have a better life came with pointing the finger inward, looking at myself, and being brutally honest with the woman looking back at me in the mirror.
In January 2024, I would run my first half marathon after decades of being a strong runner - this felt like the ultimate test. My training had not been easy, despite me thinking this would be a piece of cake and I would run this with no problem. I decided to run this by myself. I had to hold myself accountable, maintain integrity by following through on my promises (even promises no one else heard and that were made to myself), and motivate myself to wake up every morning at 4:30 am before my 9-5 to run distances I have never run before. Along with that, I also needed to maintain healthy mental practices, along with other habits/routines. Toward the end of my training, my emotions reached an all-time high, and I was being hit with past emotions that I thought I had healed previously. One being realizing I never quite believed in myself. Knowing and feeling that I was meant to achieve great things, I did not picture myself achieving any of my goals. What a contradiction!
As the race date crept around the corner, I relied heavily on my mental strength to carry me on the days I felt I could not go for another run. I trained my mind to believe in myself so deeply that the inevitable fatigue that would fill my legs throughout my runs, the race, and other daily distractions would stand no chance of taking me down. Giving up on myself was not an option. Each time I ran a new distance, tears would form in my eyes and go down my cheeks. The tears represented grief and pain I subconsciously held onto from earlier years of my life that I was now releasing. They also served as a celebration of who I have become, who I was still becoming, and above all, the recognition of my mental and physical strength. For the first time, I defeated my own odds and believed in myself.
Run To Not From was created to help you understand how your mind, body, and spirit are connected. Understanding this and taking action will lead you to step into alignment with who you are meant to be. My goal for you is to develop a strong foundation and healthy coping mechanisms to conquer life’s challenges. This workbook is designed to lead you into your most authentic, abundant, and joyful life. All while learning to advocate for yourself and love yourself unconditionally. The answers and validation you seek come from within and this workbook is designed to help you uncover and live in your truth. The most valuable investment you can make is within yourself. Are you ready to meet the best version of you?
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